(Picture: LinkedIn)Working nine-to-five can grind you down.
Keeping a sense of optimism every morning can be difficult when the personal and professional stresses of life can feel relentless.
But one man who seems to be immune to negativity in any form is Christian Knudson.
The Global Sales vice president, posted a rather spectacular description of his morning routine on LinkedIn. And the internet has been collectively inspired.
He starts his day like any good successful businessman – at 4.30 am – and awakes ‘instantly.’
After transitioning from ‘the fogginess of dreams, to the readiness of full consciousness’, Christian kisses his sleeping wife and proceeds with the morning routine he has followed for the last 15 years.
‘Glancing into my children’s rooms, somewhat envious of the sleep of youth, I proceed downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my senses,’ explains Christian.
‘Peering out the window, the calming darkness remains, intermediate heavens of light shine as beacons from my dozen backyard ambiance lights, enhancing the beauty of the winter landscape.
‘Coffee in hand I head to my office.’
We genuinely think Christian may have missed his calling – he might be a successful salesman, but he has all the makings of a poet.
(Picture: LinkedIn)And it doesn’t stop with Christian making it to the office. No, no. His optimism is far from dimmed my the prospect of the working day.
‘The glow of 24 screens erupt to life as I enter,’ continues Christian.
‘Four screens auto-load into various local and global news feeds – reminding me that there is a much greater world out there.’
We have never heard someone describe the glare of computer monitors with such dewy-eyed romanticism, but we are here for it.
Rather than making him die a little bit inside, the endless rolling news and incessant emails seem to only encourage and inspire Christian.
‘The world never stops moving, never sleeps. It is digitally connected. Everything real time now. Live and per second.
‘The dots are moving and my world connects.
‘I close my eyes for one second.
‘I feel the energy. The excitement.
‘A new day begins.’
Like we said, pure poetry.
Sadly, not everyone on the internet feels quite as inspired by Christian’s morning ritual. As soon as Twitter found his post the mocking began.
Some thought the precision of Christian’s daily routine was a little on the creepy side, while others called in to question the existence of his wife and kids.
“my wife and kids, who are definitely not constructed out of cardboard and pipe cleaners”
— Chris Boyd 🇬🇧🇵🇭 (@paperghost) February 20, 2019
Other Twitter users simply offered their own more realistic versions of a morning routine.
I wake up
Where the fuck am I ?
How much did I have to drink ?
Who’s this bird/bloke next to me ?
My mouth tastes like garlic/scotch kebab , I crawl out of the room feeling barely alive
A new day begins …
— LFC Sydney (@beeeeeepop) February 20, 2019
4:30am.I wake up.A wave of flatulence blasts its way out of my arse-tunnel and ripples the sheets.My wife gags in her sleep.An overarching fear of existential dread sweeps across me and I grip my morning boner for dear life.A quick kiss to my wife’s head.The boner rescinds.
— Matt Pike (@mattpike421) February 20, 2019
But we don’t think Christian should take any notice of the haters.
If he wants to wake up at 4.30am and feel his heart skip a beat when he fires up his computer, then he should go right ahead.
We can’t help but feel envious at his ability to feel so rigorously upbeat a good two hours before sunrise.
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