A COUPLE of weeks ago, The Bloke had just left the house to drive to a meeting but reappeared looking grave-faced. “The Mini’s been broken in to.”
I followed him outside to discover my crumpled coat lying in the passenger footwell, discarded sweet wrappers scattered like confetti, a takeaway coffee cup lying on the back seat and the glove box gaping like a shocked mouth. In other words . . . the car was exactly as I’d left it.
9 Plenty will make the leap that Boris’s untidiness makes him unsuitable to lead the countryCredit: EPA
“Well at least they didn’t steal anything,” I mumbled. The first he’ll know of the truth is when he reads this. Tidiness isn’t one of my strong points and nor, it seems, is PM hopeful Boris Johnson in possession of the neatness gene.
The photo of his Toyota Previa’s interior makes my messy misdemeanours seem very Mini indeed. Naturally, with the age-old adage of “tidy room, tidy mind” at the forefront of their smugly neat brains, plenty will make the leap that Boris’s untidiness makes him unsuitable to lead the country.
His many critics might also throw in the other car-related evidence that, when he was GQ’s motoring correspondent, he accrued enough parking tickets to paper a downstairs loo and frequently misplaced the vehicle he’d been loaned.
9 Boris Johnson’s car was pictured in a filthy state – but so what?Credit: Dan Charity – The Sun
9 Tory leadership front runner Boris Johnson at the wheel of his Toyota PreviaCredit: Jon Bond – The Sun
A potential PM needs to be across the small print of every situation, they argue, and Boris is just too “chaotic” to do so. But is that true? After all, Gordon Brown and Theresa May were sticklers for detail and look what happened to them.
So perhaps it’s time for a “bigger picture” personality with the strength of character to lead the country through a series of inevitably difficult decisions while leaving the crossing of Ts etc to several trusted lieutenants.
According to journalist Andrew Gilligan, who worked for Boris when he was Mayor of London, his former boss has the “factory setting” of one nation Toryism and the ability to “master detail whenever he wanted to” but seldom wanted to.
“A leader’s job,” Gilligan adds, “is to set the general direction and tone, choose the right people and inspire them to implement it. Lots of folk can do detail.”
My friends would tell you that, despite the chaotic mess of my office at home (the only room in the house that my neat freak husband is banned from tidying), I possess clarity of thought when it comes to work and life’s general admin.
So let’s hope that, if he becomes PM, Boris is the same. Watch this messy space.
Pack it in Irina
MODEL Irina Shayk has reportedly split from Hollywood actor Bradley Cooper, father of her young daughter.
9 Irina leaving her house with this puny bag proves nothingCredit: Splash News
The couple haven’t confirmed or denied the reports, but the rumour mill went in to turbo- boosted overdrive when Irina was spotted leaving their US home with this suitcase.
Puh. The story might be true, but this puny bag proves nothing. It would just about hold her mascaras.Beetle Drive
ANY chance of seeing all of Prince Archie? So far we’ve been treated to a glimpse of his nose and one cheek when Meghan and Harry posed for the first post-birth photocall, followed by a pair of feet on Mother’s Day and, on Father’s Day last weekend, just his eyes.
It’s like playing a royal version of Beetle Drive.
LIAM GALLAGHER has given a “Father’s Day” interview along with three of his four children by four different women.
9 The mothers of Liam Gallagher’s kids have clearly brought up their children to bear no ill will towards himCredit: Social Media – Refer to Source
He’s a lucky man that, despite his often erratic behaviour and, in his oldest daughter’s case, a 20-year absence, all the mothers have clearly brought up their children to bear no ill will towards him. Good for them.
Not all dads are as lucky and, consequently, many spent yet another Father’s Day estranged from their children through no fault of their own.
My thoughts are with them.Ngoc revealed Hidden agenda
VIETNAMESE model Ngoc Trinh is in trouble with officials in her home country after wearing this barely-there frock to a film screening at the Cannes Film Festival.
9 Ngoc Trinh is in trouble with officials in her home country after wearing this barely-there frockCredit: The Mega Agency
9 Ngov was at the premiere of A Hidde LifeCredit: The Mega Agency
Nguyen Ngoc Thien, Vietnam’s Minister of Culture, Sports and Tourism, says: “Her outfit was improper, offensive and has caused public outrage.”
A matter of opinion, of course, but he’s launched an investigation that could lead to a heavy fine for Ms Trinh. Personally, I found myself more intrigued that she was attending the premiere of A Hidden Life, a thought-provoking film about a conscientious objector who refuses to fight for the Nazis in World War Two.
Ms Trinh isn’t in it and, as far as I can tell, wasn’t reviewing it either. Meaning, presumably, that she was simply working the red carpet to boost not only the movie but her impressive 2.4million Instagram followers who slavishly follow her every, choreographed move.
No such thing as A Hidden Life in the modern world, eh?
Slow handclapLONDON Mayor Sadiq Khan has unveiled proposals to lower speed limits inside the city’s congestion zone from 30mph to 20mph.Laughable.
In the morning and evening rush hour, you’re lucky if you reach ten.
ENGLAND women’s football manager Phil Neville and his wife Julie have completed a £5million makeover of their home, including a cinema with armchairs that extend to become beds.
9 Phil Neville and his wife Julie have completed a £5million makeover of their homeCredit: Getty – Contributor
Eek. We have footstools in our living room and I barely get halfway through a film without nodding off.
If we had beds, I wouldn’t outlast the opening credits.
A GROWING number of four-year-olds can’t hold a pencil when they start primary school.
The Educational Institute of Scotland was told the crisis could be blamed on councils replacing pre-school teachers with lower-paid child develop-ment officers so many nurseries have “no educational input”.
Do you seriously need to have trained as a teacher to show a child how to hold a pencil?
Green fit to bust
YET another US-based fitness instructor has come forward to claim that Sir Philip Green was a little too hands-on during their one-on-one gym sessions.
9 Ten hours a week of working out and he still looks like thisCredit: Louis Wood – The Sun
Jennifer McAmis, 30, says she called it “taking one for the team” when she saw Green – who denies any impropriety or wrongdoing – for two-hour sessions five times a week. know . . . shocking, right?
Ten hours a week of working out and he still looks like this. The ongoing investigation prevents me from making further comment on the accusations of groping.
But in the meantime, let’s see how many of Mr Green’s A-lister friends are photographed with him on this summer’s sailing trip around the Med’s hotspots.Give it back
THE Sun’s Give It Back campaign is aimed at pressurising the Government to plug the £434million funding gap for care services for disabled kids.
Spearheading it are parents Vickey and Adrian Kowal, whose seven-year-old son Ollie suffers from a one-in-a-million condition that means any muscle could become paralysed at any moment and kill him.
CommentKARREN BRADY Boris Johnson’s girlfriend Carrie Symonds will get him the keys to No10 CommentALLY ROSS Years and Years is right on and right on one thing: Don’t let Emma be PM BRENDAN O’NEILL Why are we too PC to fight knife crime when there is a stabbing every day? CommentTHE SUN SAYS Boris Johnson, how will you ensure Brexit happens on October 31 as promised? RICHARD TICE We must leave the grotesque temple of excess the EU has become
That means round-the-clock care from his mum and dad who have never received any respite care from local health or social services teams. Promises have been made, but the funding or care needed has yet to materialise.
So, if you’d prefer your taxes to go to families like the Kowals, instead of throwing millions at foreign countries with corrupt regimes, please visit thesun.co.uk/olliesletter to sign your support.
They need 20,000 signatures and are currently at just over 14,000, so every signature matters. Thank you.
Piers Morgan asks why PM front runner, Boris Johnson, is so secretive about how many children he has on Good Morning Britain