THERE was a call to overthrow international capitalism last week – and it came on a BBC television show.
Which hardly narrows down the field of possibilities, I realise.
BBC Frankie Boyle hosts a third series of New World Order
You’re probably thinking it could be just about anything from Question Time or Politics Live to the Twirlywoos or Tree Fu Tom, given the slanted nature of our state broadcaster.
So I’ll help you out.
It was the final rallying call from a guest on BBC2’s New World Order, hosted by Frankie Boyle, whose unlikely transformation into comedy’s White Knight of feminism continues to put even the reinvention of Piers Morgan as the undisputed saviour of breakfast television into the shade.
For just a few short years ago, Frankie was making “jokes” about raping Victoria Pendleton, punching Jessica Ennis-Hill in the stomach and lots of other material that would’ve had the likes of Jim Davidson banned from everything for life.
A weekly discussion is built around a topical news event, where pretty much anything abusive and left-wing goes
Frankie, though, hates the Tories and Brexit and thinks Jeremy Corbyn is “a decent person”, as terrorist-fawning anti-Semites go.
So the BBC’s given him a third series of New World Order, his very own Church Of The Woke, which operates in exactly the same way as the previous two — with four or five guests who must adhere to some fairly strict “group think” rules.
One has to be Sara Pascoe, another usually writes for The Guardian, no one is allowed to be Conservative and there’s a built-in female majority that’s meant to make the BBC look all progressive, inclusive and lovely but doesn’t, because none of them are funny and they all just agree with everything Frankie says.
A weekly discussion is built around a topical news event, where pretty much anything abusive and left-wing goes, and facts and truth are usually the first casualties.
They all live in a wilfully blind, hypocritical political universe and will ignore any personal and professional failings
No space to list all of them here but during this current series I’ve seen Michael Forsyth described as a “Conservative MP” (not since 1997), Liam Fox cited as an example of a Cabinet “forged in British public schools”, even though he’s a council-house boy educated at his local comprehensive, and Frankie claiming Sleaford Mod Jason Williamson was expelled from Labour “during the Harriet Harman purge”.
He wasn’t. He was expelled when Corbyn was leader for rather delightfully tweeting: “Dan Jarvis can lick my f***ing ar*e too. Posing c***.”
A shame no one was on top of that detail, as I thought it would’ve added to the debate they were having about “male aggression” ruining politics.
No matter, because this week we had a discussion on feminism and the open goal of Frankie Boyle asking if “the biggest problem for women is the determination of some men to be objectionable”.
We’ve got to go straight to the heart of capitalism and overthrow it. But you said this was going to be a comedy programme, Frankie.George Monbiot
It is, Frankie. It is.
As he well knew, though, there was fat chance of any of his guests being brave or bright enough to point out there was a big problem sat right in front of them.
They all live in a wilfully blind, hypocritical political universe and will ignore any personal and professional failings, no matter how obvious and odious, just so long as the person shares the same common enemy and goals as the rest of this toxic, left-wing BBC bubble.
Although Guardian columnist and environmentalist George Monbiot did rather let the cat out of the bag with that end- of-show rant.
“We’ve got to go straight to the heart of capitalism and overthrow it. But you said this was going to be a comedy programme, Frankie.”
Oh George, how stupid and naive can you really be?
BBC The New World Order cast includes Mona Chalabi, Sara Pascoe and Katherine Ryan
BBC Frankie is comedy’s unlikely White Knight of feminism
Great TV lies and delusions of the month
QVC, Katy Pullinger to Michelle Mone: “I can’t wait to see your wedding photos.” (Creep.)
Britain’s Got Talent, David Walliams: “Sheila Simmonds, you are a very funny lady.” (He’s neither.)
And Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins, Jeff Brazier: “I think I might surprise a few people with who I really am.”
Not unless you’re really Kirk Douglas you won’t.NEW World Order, Frankie Boyle: “Imagine what my life’s like at the moment. Imagine having to write jokes about the Lib Dems.” You probably just get one of your ten to 12 scriptwriters to do it then, I’d imagine.
Jeff’s sex ed lags behind
CHANNEL 4’s three-part series Let’s Talk About Sex is a perfect example of a good idea gone bad.
For it’s one thing holding up old sex education films for well-deserved ridicule. It’s quite another when you get some of the biggest C-list ar*eaches in Britain to do the ridiculing.
Jeff Brazier tells his son his favourite sex position
Namely, Ulrika Jonsson, Miriam Margolyes, Danny Dyer, Jeff Brazier, Stephen Mangan, plus Alastair Campbell and his daughter Grace, who’s every bit as likeable as her old man. The poor girl.
Some of the others had brought a much smarter and better behaved child along for the ride as well, including Jeff, who’s set himself up as a “parenting expert”, these days, but took some delight in telling his 15-year-old son
Bobby and the viewers: “There’s nothing more enjoyable than going from behind.”
Jeff also had no idea he’d said something quite funny when he claimed an old menstruation cartoon reminded him of “Angry Birds”, probably because, like all of the celebs, he’s just too full of himself and his own lovely, enlightened modern ways to notice anything else.
Danny Dyer, Jeff Brazier and celebs explain the birds and the bees to their kids in C4’s new series Let’s Talk About Sex
In ten or 20 years’ time, of course, it’ll be their turn to be mocked by the next generation, who’ll probably also be wondering why prime candidate Alastair Campbell didn’t lead the male masturbation discussion, how Ulrika managed to keep a straight face discussing family planning issues, and why oh why oh why the camera didn’t cut straight to Stephen Mangan after the question: “Is this the end of a penis?”
What a waste.Hard sell of the week
This Morning – “Celine Dion’s three beauty tips. One, clean face. Two, moisturise.”
Three, try a head transplant.
Best quiz show answers of the week
Tipping Point, Ben Shephard: “Which former X Factor star joined the coaching panel for the 2018 series of The Voice UK?”
Kev: “Molly Urs.”
Getty Images – Getty Ben Shephard hosts game show Tipping Point
The Chase, Bradley Walsh: “What animals are ridden in the rodeo event ‘mutton busting’?”
Bradley Walsh: “Which New Zealander stood on top of Mount Everest on May 29, 1953?”Steph: “Ralph Fiennes.”
And Ben Shephard: “When Labour rebranded itself in the 1990s, the party leader was Tony who?”
Shane: “Pass.” Hey, that’s showbiz.
Great Sporting Insights
Liam Rosenior: “Brighton will have to dig their sleeves up.”
Glenn Hoddle: “If the goalie makes a save, he saves the ball.”
Matt Le Tissier: “Every single season it’s a close title race. Last season was different because City ran away with it.”
Gonzo’s act is a bell-ter
OVER at week two of the Britain’s Got Talent auditions, a masked and mute psychic had Ant wondering if he’d take off his disguise to reveal “someone we know, like your wife”.
Dec reckoned: “That would be a shock,” while the rest of the country thought it would probably be a much bigger one if it was actually Ant’s ex-wife.
ITV Gonzo is a manic Japanese tambourine player
One of the very few occasions when the show and its hosts were slightly out of tune with the nation as, quite unexpectedly, watching Britain’s Got Talent has become a joyful and funny experience once again.
A feeling not unconnected to the fact, I suspect, that it’s eliminated all the sob stories in favour of pure entertainment, with the absolute pick of this week’s bunch being Gonzo, the manic Japanese tambourine player, and Israel’s Guy First, who brought the house down and hopes to go all the way to the live finals hand-farting Take On Me, by A-ha, and the Ghostbusters theme tune.
I, for one, hope he does it as well – and any attempts at a cultural boycott are shoved right up the dark side of Roger Waters’ moon.
Simon Cowell rushes to comfort Susan Boyle as she returns to BGT ten years after winning addition
TV GoldThe lavishly brilliant new Game Of Thrones proving Jerome “Bronn” Flynn has had a better spin-off career than Robson “fishing trips” Green.
Line Of Duty dropping the tantalising clue that H “Definately” can’t spell.Netflix series Losers making me fall in love with Torquay United, for half an hour.And Mark “Billy” Billingham, who’s not only the most terrifying Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins instructor, as Sam Thompson learned when he was told to “F***ing grow up, or f***ing f*** off,” he’s also the funniest and most compassionate, as the Made In Chelsea gonk discovered when faced with an abseil down a 60-metre cliff.“If we fall…?”“Yes, we will fill in all the paperwork. Don’t worry.”Give him his own show.
Random TV irritations
Robbie Williams and Ayda Field demanding a rise on their £10million X Factor pay, despite the sabbatical he took during the last disastrous run.
The self-pitying sap from the Nescafe advert who wants people to “sit down if you can’t remember my name”.
Getty – Contributor Robbie Williams and Ayda Field demanded a £10million pay rise for their X Factor roles
Married At First Sight angling for more gullible cringe-mongers when it had only just stopped humiliating the current batch.
Alesha Dixon’s comedian mate getting Simon’s Golden Buzzer on Britain’s Got Talent.
And Sara Pascoe, Gemma Collins, Dani Dyer, John Barnes, Desiree Burch and Samson Kayo. ’Cos Jonathan Ross is really rolling out the big guns for this series, isn’t he?Worst quiz show answer of the week
WORST quiz show answer of the week. Tipping Point, Ben Shephard: “Oscar-winning actress Rachel Weisz married which James Bond star in 2011?”
Jordan: “Piers Morgan.”
Not even if the film’s called Diet Another Day.
CommentTHE SUN SAYS By branding Brexiteers ‘Nazis’ David Lammy reveals how Europhiles see Leavers CommentTREVOR KAVANAGH If we don’t lose Theresa May by June then Jeremy Corbyn will be our next PM CommentIAIN DUNCAN SMITH Theresa May should leave a legacy as PM by leaving EU with No Deal Brexit CommentKARREN BRADY 14m Brits live in poverty — don’t waste £1.3bn aid on pop groups & potholes CommentTHE SUN ON SUNDAY SAYS Soft approach to terrorism sends a dubious message about justice
Line Of Duty legend Adrian Dunbar is dead ringer for the farmer from Shaun The Sheep
THIS week’s winner is the farmer from Shaun The Sheep and Line Of Duty legend Adrian “Ted Hastings” Dunbar.
Sent in by Ricky, via email. Picture research: Marta Ovod.