ISIS Hostage Kayla Jean Mueller’s Heartbreaking Letter to Family During Captivity

February 11, 2015 6:55 am
Everyone, If you are receiving this letter it means I am still detained
but my cell mates (starting from 11/2/2014) have been released. I have
asked them to contact you + send you this letter. It’s hard to know what
to say. Please know that I am in a safe location, completely unharmed +
healthy (put on weight in fact); I have been treated w/ the utmost
respect + kindness. I wanted to write you all a well thought out letter
(but I didn’t know if my cell mates would be leaving in the coming days
or the coming months restricting my time but primarily) I could only but
write the letter a paragraph at a time, just the thought of you all
sends me into a fit of tears.

After Jordan’s revenge strikes against ISIS,the militants claimed
American  female hostage ,Kayla Jean Mueller was killed during one of
Jordan’s airstrikes ..
Many feel they probably killed her and tried to pass the blame on Jordan
..Today, her family said it had received confirmation that she died
while being held by Islamic State militants. The Mueller family also
released a touching letter it said she had written last year. So sad….

Everyone, If you are receiving this letter it means I am still detained
but my cell mates (starting from 11/2/2014) have been released. I have
asked them to contact you + send you this letter. It’s hard to know what
to say. Please know that I am in a safe location, completely unharmed +
healthy (put on weight in fact); I have been treated w/ the utmost
respect + kindness. I wanted to write you all a well thought out letter
(but I didn’t know if my cell mates would be leaving in the coming days
or the coming months restricting my time but primarily) I could only but
write the letter a paragraph at a time, just the thought of you all
sends me into a fit of tears.

If you could say I have “suffered” at all throughout this whole
experience it is only in knowing how much suffering I have put you all
through; I will never ask you to forgive me as I do not deserve
forgiveness. I remember mom always telling me that all in all in the end
the only one you really have is God. I have come to a place in
experience where, in every sense of the word, I have surrendered myself
to our creator b/c literally there was no else.. + by God + by your
prayers I have felt tenderly cradled in freefall. I have been shown in
darkness, light + have learned that even in prison, one can be free. I
am grateful. I have come to see that there is good in every situation,
sometimes we just have to look for it.

I pray each each day that if nothing else, you have felt a certain
closeness + surrender to God as well + have formed a bond of love +
support amongst one another. I miss you all as if it has been a decade
of forced separation. I have had many a long hour to think, to think of
all the things I will do w/ Lex, our first family camping trip, the
first meeting @ the airport. I have had many hours to think how only in
your absence have I finally @ 25 years old come to realize your place in
my life.

The gift that is each one of you + the person I could + could not be if
you were not a part of my life, my family, my support. I DO NOT want the
negotiations for my release to be your duty, if there is any other
option take it, even if it takes more time. This should never have
become your burden. I have asked these women to support you; please seek
their advice. If you have not done so already, (REDACTED) can contact
(REDACTED) who may have a certain level of experience with these people.
None of us could have known it would be this long but know I am also
fighting from my side in the ways I am able + I have a lot of fight left
inside of me.

I am not breaking down + I will not give in no matter how long it takes.
I wrote a song some months ago that says, “The part of me that pains
the most also gets me out of bed, w/out your hope there would be nothing
left.” aka_The thought of your pain is the source of my own,
simultaneously the hope of our reunion is the source of my strength.
Please be patient, give your pain to God. I know you would want me to
remain strong. That is exactly what I am doing. Do not fear for me,
continue to pray as will I + by God’s will we will be together soon.

All my everything,

Kayla

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